Congratulations! You just got asked the question of a lifetime and after all the shock wears off, normally the panic sets in. Let's discuss my first three steps for you after your loving partner pops the question.
While everything is coming at you pretty fast, take a break and enjoy this phase of newness. Your relationship is transitioning into a lifetime right before your eyes so you deserve to soak up the fun. Wedding planning can be tedious and stressful but it doesn't necessarily have to be.
These are the first three things that you should decide after getting engaged.
1.) Do we want a wedding?
I know this question sounds redundant but do you both actually want a wedding? There are many different ways to seal the deal into matrimony, is a traditional wedding ceremony what you would like? Some couples would rather opt for civil ceremonies in cute courthouse courtyards or private nuptials that only they attend. Others want elaborate themed celebrations with dress codes and a party that never stops.
When your initial shock of seeing that ring on your left hand dies down a bit, sit down with your partner and discuss what expectations you both have for your day. Maybe even list out the options you have and make pros and cons lists of what would benefit you all best.
2.) How much are we willing to spend?
Or how much is our family prepared to donate as well? Budgets can sometimes be deal breakers so make sure you lay out a good number from beginning.
The weddings of today are not the weddings of the past. A lot of the time there are multiple celebrations for the engagement, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wedding showers and it goes on and on and on. Good for business but could possibly be bad on your wallet.
My advice to new couples after they've decided that they want something other than civil ceremony is have meeting with multiple planners before committing to anything. Figure out your biggest expenses in that as well. Maybe you don't want a fancy venue but food is very important to both of you. You could want to have a simple wedding ceremony but a party that would put your favorite club out of business. Do your research before deciding on anything. It would suck to find the venue of your dreams to only find out it will take all of your budget and you won't be able to walk down the aisle in your Jimmy Choo's.
The wedding isn't what lasts a lifetime, its the marriage. Don't send yourself to the poor house before you can afford a mortgage.
3.) Seek Pre-Martial Counseling.
I know, I know you guys just got engaged your so happy, why would you need counseling? A lot of times in relationships, even long term ones you will only see the surface person. Yes, you've met their family but do you know if your partner has any trauma's or triggers that may make their way into your marriage. Pre-Marital counseling can and will give you the tools to learn how to fix conflict and remain on each others teams even when you don't necessarily want to be. I believe that you both should pick the counselor. You can use the pastor your local church or a licensed mental health professional. The goal of this is to simply give you the beginning tools of becoming each others biggest cheerleaders.
So now that you've taken care of your big three its time for you to come see me! AB Events and Planning can help with all aspects of wedding planning from the very beginning. Email, text, or call today for your free consultation!
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